Oh Solitude

Time: After Espada No. 1 has cleaned the floor with Kyoraku... (if he will do so... you never know...)
ooc: I want the Lieutenant!!! Like the chara ^^


When Jushiro left the Med Center, the night was nearly over. He did so, not because he wanted to, but because of being afraid what Retsu Unohana would do to him if he didn t obey her orders.
Shushu was still in critial condition and he feared for his old friend. He however had taken some serious hits too and the coughing in his chest got more and more painful. So Retsu hat ordered him to get some rest in his Headquarter, where the Squad usually took care of him not being disturbed.

No birds were to hear, no whispers in the trees.
It had been a shock seeing Aizen again.
Aizen and his Espadas...
Even his Sensei had taken action in that battle. Jushiro thought that the real world mut have been shaken by the powers clashing in those really terrifying fights too.
And Shushu?
He had nearly died...
Ukitake remembered entering the battle, saving his friend, releasing his Bankai and killing that creature. He was not proud of it... but it had to be done.

He coughed again heavily before he raised his head to watch the Headquarter. It was too silent there, too.
Sadly and exhausted, yet with a calm and polite expression on his features, he entered it and tried to make it for his rooms.

You have written me out?!
Whyyy?
Shiro-chan...
*sigh*
Okay, I take a break Let's have a look from what wood your lieutenant is made of
*yeah producing terrible english...yeah...*

Nuartan was sitting in the room he made his own in the headquarter.
It was not that he had no home himself, but he also needed room to work and fulfill his duties here in the headquarter.
When he had still been with the third squad, his room had been in another wing of the building but meanwhile he had moved to another room, closer to the 13th squad.
He sensed that something was changing around him and therefore raised his head.
A new presence entered the headquarters... new, but familiar and he identified it as the aura of his captain.

Slowly he got up and walked towards the door.
Jushiro came nearer and Nuartan opened the door and leaned in the doorway, watching him approach.
There was no smile on the captain's face, but Nuartan could understand that well. He nearly had lost a good and precious friend.
It was only due to Jushiro his friend was still alive, but Nuartan also know how Jushiro abhored violence, especially in such a huge dimension.
"Will you have a tea with me?" He quietly asked when Jushiro had reached him and his dark eyes glowed slightly.

Jushiro was not surprised feeling his Lieutenant's reiatsu when entering Ugendou. He loved his headquarter. It was located on a wodden platform in the middle of a big lake. Ukitake always has had an affinity to water. It made him quiet and silent and remembered him of the fact that usually there was more than the eye could see in a person, situation or even a truth.

"Yes, Nuartan-san, I would like to have a tea with you." he gently answered and made a gesture towards his own rooms. It had been two years by now that the man served under his command... or rather commanded the Squad under his guidance.
Jushiro's Squad was different and although a Vice-Captain stayed at the sickbed of his Captain (even Renji did), the relationship between this commanding officer and that very special subordinate was a precious one, vulnerable one, yet stronger than it could be expected of other Squads.

He led the man into his own rooms. Rooms that were located into Southern direction so Jushiro could take advantage of the warm sun. He usually became cold when being ill and he most of the time was ill. The wodden panels at the floor and the walls were still warm of the evening sun. The sweet scent of flowers hung in the air that came floating in through the widows.

Ukitake knelt down exhausted and then reached out his hands for preparing the tea, while Nuartan sat down himself. Without noise. Pure elegance.

Nuartan nodded softly and then left his room and followed Jushiro to his rooms.
It was always very bright there as the windows where huge and a lot of sunlight could fall into it.
Nuartan liked the rooms because they suited the captain, and just like him promised some kind of calamity.
Quietly he sat down on one side of a small table, with his eyes following each single movement of his captain, without staring at him.

He waited, until Jushiro turned around with the tea and then quietly nodded thankfully, when Jushiro filled a cup for him.
He didn't need to use words fort that.
Nevertheless, when he now looked at Jushiro, he could see the sorrow in the face of his captain.
Was ist the fear to lose a good friend? Was it the experience of nearly losing that friend?
Or rather the experience of being urged to fight, of being urged to betray the own principles?

He took the cup of tea into his hands.
It was warm and the warmth of the cup warmed his cold fingers, when he lead the cup to his lips.
Nuartan took a sip or two and then put the cup on the table again. The tea was good.
Mint, peppermint if he wasn't mistaken. It was the second best beverage in the world. Right after cacao. He couldn't explain why, but he loved cacao.

Again he looked at Jushiro, but said nothing.
Of course he could have said that the man looked pale and bad, even worse than usually, but where was the use in telling the Captain what he already knew?
"How is Captain Kyoraku?" He iasked very kindly and patiently. There was no use in hiding his thoughts as well, so why should he start off with doing small talk, when he could see Jushiros thoughts might spin around the same topic?

Jushiro took a few sips of the tea and it made him feel warm inside. He relaxed a bit, but raised a hand to cover his lips when coughing again. The fight, since a long time, had been the mot exhausting thing done by him. This nasty Espada had been no fun and Jushiro knew he won because of Shushu's good work done before.

"He is still in a bad condition. There is nothing we can do except waiting." Jushiro gently explained and put the cup back onto the table. "It is not the first time somebody messed him up... and not the first time I had to rescue him." He shortly smiled. "But that doesnt make things easier to take... this is why I am feeling sorry when being really ill. I know Shushu then sits somewhere and thinking exactly the same. There is nothing to be done and yet one clings to the shining hope that still moves inside one's heart."

The brown eyes shimmered with kindness and the understanding of some things being unchangable. Jushiro did not hesitate to use pictures or comparisons in his language, although one could mistake him for being pathetic. He was not too fond of rules and rites and remembered well Rukias surprised face when he himself came personally to sit down in front of her, patting her hair and saying farewell to her before she left for Karakura Town.

"Once Shushus said it is the duty of a Captain to stay behind, wait and trust his subordinates to come back. In that night his Lieutenant...died and he asked me in half a sentence if he was wrong to live like he did. I told him that he wasnt... and if you could be sure that your subordinates always return, being a Captainw ould be children's game... it is the same with friends, too. I trust in his will to live. As he does in mine."

The man smiled again and took some more sips of the warm tea.
"When the illness broke out, I hd been a small child of the age of three. Three days later my hair turned white and ever since had been the reason for teasing. When I entered the academy, I tried to colour it with a Kido spell to avoid unwanted attention. It bcame pink. That was the first time Shushu bought a hat... I hated it, but at least it covered the pink hair until the Kido spell could be reversed. My, my, I looked like a doll... It was more considered a joke when I bought him a hat for his birthday...but since then I seldom saw him going out without one anymore."

Jushiro looked at the man. "What about you, Nuartan-san? How did you experience your training? Your childhood?"

Nuartan quietly listened to Jushiro's words.
That man possessed a wonderful calm voice which made it a pleasure to listen to his narrations. Besides that it was hard not wanting to listen to all the things he had to tell.
Nuartan for his part enjoyed doing so, and thoughtfully watched Jushiro, saw his eyes sparkle and his lips smile every now and then.

Although his captain was a man full of optimism, a man who would never give up, who would never doubt his friends, he could see that he was worried. Time had made him calm and age obviously had taught him even mor calamity. Maybe he just knew that everything would turn out some way, and that complaining and struggling all the time could not help.
On the other hand he had seen this man making changes, that no one would have expected to happen.

He took another sip of the warm mint tea and for a moment his eyes passed Jushiro and he gazed through the window to the outside.
It was a warm and sunny days and on days like this Jushiro's constitution was usually at its best. He didn't cough a single time, while he spoke to him, but it was a question of time until he would do again.

Only when Jushiro addressed him again he did focus onto his captains face instead of the window and the nature outside.
"Me?" He asked a bit surprised, but then smiled patiently. "My hair has possessed this colour ever since I have been born." He said and smiled even more, knowing that had not been the answer expected to this question.
He quietly put the cup onto the table again. "I have got a twin sister, who looks like... me." He then told his captain. "She is the person closest to me. She always knows what I think and feel and so do i know what she experiences. Nevertheless... we are as different in nature as we could be. She always loved peace, words and dreams while I prefered silence, truth and the art of war." Nuartan's eyes beamed a little bit.
"She had always been with me, since I can think, and she still is." He added. Losing her he could not imagine. It would be like losing a part of himself, his thoughts and his mind.

"Captain Hitsugaya is also white-haired...and his eyes are of an amazingly turquoise colour. I guess that is because his reiatsu is close to ice. Your reiatsu does have a fire-affility, right? There is just one other shinigami I know, who possesses that. It's rare." Jushiro said and smiled.
He himself had not really an affinity... but had been called Stormchild in his youth. He could release terrible storms, thunder and lightning... but he prefered sunshine over such troublesome things.
"Ah... it is said, that twins are something very special." he went on. "I have siblings, too and I love them a lot...but usually they are busy with their families and I am with Hollows."
He supported his family on his own, since his parents had passed away. How long had it been... he barely could remember.
"But it's wonderful, that you have somebody that close to you, Nuartan-san." he said in his calm voice and smiled while sunshile fell onto his white hair. "The people say, that the world changes. And then they say the changes are a circle. It is hard for me to believe in absolute things. That is not my nature. I have seen the Dead risind anf the Living fall. I have seen eternity standing still and being reduced to a second of existence and a second becoming eternity." Ukitake smiled a bit when realizing he sounded pathetic.
"So, is history a line evolving into the future or a circle that cannot be escaped... I cannot make this decision, although I am already living here quite long. And I dont want to, because somebody once taught me... that even the truth that can be found between two absolute things... is just the surface of another truth."
It had taken him time to understand these words, but he finally had managed it. And as always Shunsui had said those words like there were nothing more than a children's song to him.
"However...although I hardly can accept absolute decisions or sayings, in my world friendship and loyalty were always the most constant things, that I could count on."
And without them I wouldn t be alive today.
"So I am happy for you and grateful that the world has provided you with somebody...making her a gift to enrichen your life."

The Captain smiled calmly and took another sip of his tea, while he watched the eyes of his guest. Eyes, in which a tiny shimmer of surprise lingered and sparkled.

"Yes, it does." Nuartan answered and thoughtfully watched his Captain.
He had not encountered another Shinigami with an affinity to fire, therefore he knew it was quite seldom. He had heard there was another one, but never seen it.
Nevertheless he knew about the power of fire and he had thought about it a lot.
He had thought about why it was fire that he released, he had asked himself why his sword released a panther made but came to the conclusion that it was the sword's personality, matching his own.

He was disciplined, but sometimes also hot tempered and passionate.
His strength and his weakness both laid in his emotions and his passions.
He was burning fire when he his rage was unleashed but even being calm the cold fire of his blade could burn.
"I am glad to have my sister although I do not share her passions." He quietly said and another smile appeared upon his face. He did not have to explain how dear she really was to him. He knew that Jushiro also had siblings and a family, so he would probably be able to imagine how valuable siblings were.

Nuartan listened to Jushiro's words. First he thought the explanation to be confusing but then he could find sense in them and so he nodded a little bit.
He had never thought about it before, so he didn't have an oppinion at all until he realized, that not only was Jushiro talking about circles, but also was talking in circles, describing a circle with his thoughts and coming back to where Nuartan had ended.
"Loyalty and friendship." He repeated, looking at his captain. Both couldn't exist without faith, without trusting those who were close.
He assumed that it might not have been easy for Jushiro to trust him, after he had challenged him in a fight back then and until now he had not explained himself to the Captain.
"I value them high too." He admitted and took another sip of his tea.
"It had been my wish to serve this squad." He then added and looked into his captain's face. "And I want you to know, that there had been no day when I regretted this choice."
And he really hoped Jushiro did feel the same way, and did not regret having accepted him.