After the rain

Henarion smiled.
He liked smiling and so he didn't spare with smiling.
"Oh, i once wanna see when you make it snow..." He said and his eyes sparkled when he imagined the scen:
Rukia standing in the middle of a frozen sea, letting small snow crystals whirl around her in the icy air. It was a nice picture he had in mind.

He nodded slightly when Rukia started to talk about her "two" captains and the experiences she shared with them. Of course he could understand why she felt herself closer to Kaien than to Jushiro, although Jushiro seemed to be a very kind and gentle person.
Ukitake had brought him here. He had been the first person in Soul Society he had got to know back then.
Besides that the man had saved his life. And finally delivered him to Byakuya in order to put him in the right place. Yes, he definitely cared for those entrusted to him.

"I... just... I felt it was the right thing to choose him to talk to." He answered her with a soft smile. "I didn't want to stay in the house any longer. Yes, I hardly know him... but hardly is more than all the others you see? And I thought... he seemed to be... good at listening." Henarion smiled again, but did not continue.
"Did you... feel lost when you came here first?"

"I was a baby when I came here... so I do not remember. I grew up in Rogukai. I never knew something else. Renji somehow became something like an elder brother and friend for me. We grew up together in the poorer quarters of the city."
She stayed quiet for a moment.
"Then I entered the academy... I nearly finished... and was adopted. I felt more lost after that than before." She raised her head. "That is why my relationship to my Squad was so tight...you must feel very lonely, too. I am sorry... but maybe one day he will do for you what he did for me. If only once, I nevertheless was allowed to see a heart inside that man... and for me this is enough."

She shook her head.
"You certainly chose the right person to talk to. I don t know a gentler or kinder sould than this of the Captain. Rumours say he already walks the earth since two thousand years and has been trained by the Commander himself. Due to... well his condition... he feels great sympthy towards those who suffer... At least this is partly what Kaien told me."

Henarion nodded quietly.
"Well... yes, I rather meant... the Kuchiki family, when I said "here". Anyway, you answered my question exactly in the way... I wanted to have it." He answered.
At least he wasn't the only one to feel lonely and lost.
"I do not need to see inside of him at all." He added. "I know he's a good man. A profound one. An honourable one." He paused for a moment and looked at the untroubled water once more. "It is just... I fear I don't belong here. And the longer I stay, the stronger this feeling grows." He gazed at Rukia and saw that she wasn't exactly surprised, but not happy either.

"That is not because of you or Bykuya." He energetically shook his head. "You are gorgeous. The two of you."
He just felt like being put in the wrong place. On the other hand he didn't know what to do.
He wiped an imaginary picture aside. "I somehow will have to settle that. With myself I guess."
He offered Rukia another smile.
"But I am really curious on seeing you amongst lots of nice and sparkling snow crystals." He added and carefully took her hand into his own.

Rukia didn t comment on that. When she had been adopted, she of course had acted according to the rules, but it was only now that she was proud of it.
She didn t care about Byakuyas honour, his nobility or profoundness. She cared about the pain that had been in the features and eyes of a man, whom she had considered being cold and self-centered. He had shown her that he was not ignorant and stubborn, but could admit having done mistakes- that was what had touched her heart. That was why she never wanted to give the right away calling him older brother.

"You know... that when you have figured it out... that we will give you a choice. There is no need carrying a name or family burden if you cannot or do not want to."
She looked into the sky. "You have always been different... not rooted in our culture... a wanderer. Maybe there is still a way to go before you can return to where you have not been before."

Slowly some white Snowflakes fell from the sky and shimmered in the sunlight before they sank onto the ground and melted away.

"Now, that sounds philosophically." Henarion calmly repeated but again having a smile upon his lips.
He leaned back, put his ellbows onto the grass green ground and took his head back.
Just like Rukia he looked into the skies, watching the clouds passing by.
"But maybe you are right."
Or maybe he just didn't belong here, and struggling to fit into a place he hadn't been made for would make him fail.

Some white, sparkling snowflakes where falling down from the skies. Where did the snow suddenly come from? Was it Rukias work?
One of the crystals landed on the skin of his hands and there immediately melted away.
There was another reason why he still stayed although not being sure about it, but he didn't tell her about it.
And he would never do.
He liked her. Very much and maybe even more than was good for him or them both.
Now he just stayed quiet, enjoying the snow in the warm sunlight.

"It is... when I've lived down their... I somehow... I dreamed of a life like this you know?" He started off once more. "And it's not that I am disappointed now. Lots of things are even way better than I imagine back then. But... am afraid I cannot see me there."

The snow quietly fell upon her skin and hair and even became a bit more due to the feelings she had inside.
"Nobody can make you stay here." she quietly said. "And you are free to go wherever you want to... I never dreamed of another life than that one I had. It was hard... but it was mine. Then it got taken away from me but..."

She closed her eyes and smiled a bit.
"I realized that what I have now is just another part of the road that will lead me to whatever end...."
She turned her head a little and watched him.
"You are not happy though... and being happy is the first thing that should be achieved...at least in your case. So maybe you really should take your time and make a decision."

She had a look at the Sakura trees shortly.
Yes, it was all about decisions... and they were still so young. Even her older brother was. They were not so far away from being human... still they somehow were.
And that was a good thing.

"Half my life..." Henarion answered quietly after thinking a while, "I didn't know who I am or where I had come from. I had no memories of my past. The only thing I could cling to was my name, and even that I wasn't sure about." Maybe that had been the reason why he never had stayed in one place for a longer time. He always had to move, searching for something he couldn't even name.

"Byakuya gave me back what I lost years before and I am thankful for that." Nevertheless feeling bond to him wasn't the thing that made him still stay.
The thing was, that he didn't bother too much about who he was back then when he knew nothing, because he had been afraid of what he might have found out. Nevertheless he always carried that piece of writing with him, and still he had it with him now.

All his life something felt wrong and now he finally knew why.
And still, it wasn't right yet.
He hear Rukia move and when he looked aside he could see her watching him.
A slight shiver ran over his skin, but he hid it from her.
She was right, but to realize that nevertheless hurt.
"I know that I am free to make my own decision... but I don't want to be unthankful. I even think... there is no way of going back... and... it is not... that there are not some things that make me stay... people who make me stay." He looked into her blue grey eyes but then quickly looked away. "Anyway, as you said. It's up to me." He sat up again and put his hands around his knees. "Is that you letting it snow? I like it."

"Yes, it s me." she said, but her reiatsu calmed down a little and so where the snowflakes. She knew it was nothing to play with, but if it made him smile a bit why not.
"I am sure you lll choose whatever is good for you and makes you feel better." Rukia quietly added and then slowly got up.
It was a pity that the Captain had sent her away again. She wanted to do something, but it seemed she was just doomed to not do so.

"Lets go on." she smiled and said. "There are certainly a few more beautiful places in this park..."